Boundaries With Ourselves
So what are boundaries with ourselves? Is that even possible? Strictly speaking, probably not. Boundaries are about ownership and responsibility, and we are responsible for ourselves. There’s no getting around that. But how do we know our own capacity? How can we know our limits?
Boundaries with self is just one way of talking about what we can and cannot handle. We were made to live in community. There’s a reason that solitary imprisonment is one of the harshest punishments we have. Yet without healthy boundaries (and even with them), living in community with others is one of the hardest tasks we face.
Self boundaries enable us to balance our need for others with our responsibility for ourselves.
We all have “that” friend, right? The one who needs all the time. The one who makes it all about her. This is the friend who one ups all your stories. Setting boundaries with her can be done, and should be done. I’ve already talked about that. But unless you set emotional boundaries for yourself, you may have trouble setting any boundaries with her.
That’s because we get caught up in other people’s neediness and dependence. We become part of their personal drama and feel responsible. We have to set boundaries on ourselves.
Whenever I get caught up in someone else’s drama, I step back and look at myself.
Am I taking responsibility for things I have no control over? If so, there’s a boundary to set. Am I taking ownership for things that are not mine? There’s another boundary.
Wondering if you are struggling with boundaries in your relationships? Give me a call and let’s talk!