“Boundaries mean I am angry.” Cloud and Townsend Often as we begin to set boundaries, we experience anger. This doesn’t mean we’re angry people! As we set boundaries, we become aware of boundary violations, and these violations are cause for legitimate anger. If we haven’t already expressed that anger, it must come out. I’ve actually seen this happen with a friend of mine: as she began to set boundaries, she experienced anger that had been repressed for a long time. It was difficult, but now that she has experienced the anger and set the boundaries, she is that much further on the road to mental health. Setting boundaries can be messy, but it is a lot less messy than living a life without boundaries!