I’m taking a quick break from boundaries to talk about something even more important: Priorities.
Here’s the thing. We can use time management tools and set boundaries all we want, but if we don’t know what our priorities are, it’s useless. Why? Because it is our priorities which guide our choices in how to use our time and resources. Here’s an example. Jill Churchill says “There is no way to be a perfect mother, and a million ways to be a good one.”
In other words, a perfect mother should volunteer at school, cook healthy meals, plan a reasonable schedule with extracurricular activities, organize enriching and fun vacations, maintain contact with extended family, dress her child appropriately and inexpensively, manage money such that there is a college fund, always have crafts on hand, have all necessities in a diaper bag that weighs less than 10 pounds, know how to forestall all temper tantrums, teach the child how to clean, do laundry, and cook, use proper language, model self-control, be unconditionally loving, be neverendingly patient, demonstrate leadership, instill respect for others, and, well, I’m sure I’m forgetting SOMETHING here…
On the other hand, a good mother may work outside of the home in order to provide financial security, a college fund, and vacations to exotic locations. A good mother may stay home in order to volunteer at school, help with homework, read books out loud, and cook healthy gluten-free meals. A good mother may work from home in order to model career ambitions while baking cookies for an after-school snack. It’s all about what your priorities as a mom are.
I’ll be recording a series of videos about how to set priorities. But I’ll give you a few places to start right here.
- List 100 goals (don’t restrict them in any way), and then look through the list and notice any trends
- Pick three adjectives you wish described you in your ideal life
- Write your obituary, assuming you accomplished all your dreams.
- Write your ideal daily or weekly schedule
- Journal about the following topics:
- What do I do easily and with joy?
- What never gets done without effort?
- What am I comfortable outsourcing?
- What makes me giddy inside?
- What were my hobbies as a child or young adult?
Set your priorities. They will become the foundation for your life, the criteria for your time management decisions, and the context for your boundaries.