There’s a common misconception among most SAHMs that I know and talk to. It’s the lurking belief that you aren’t contributing financially to your family.
I know you all know intellectually that you are contributing by being a Stay At Home Mom, but there’s still this unsettled feeling about the family finances. And it’s expressed by a lack of self-care. The refusal to get a babysitter when you go to the doctor, or spend money on a massage or class for yourself. The inability to go out of town for a weekend without feeling loads of guilt.
I get it. I was there too.
I was a SAHM the first year of my daughter’s life. And I had post partum depression. About 4 months in, I started hiring babysitters 3 or 4 times a week. And I felt tremendously guilty. How dare I use my husband’s hard earned money to pay someone else to care for my baby. Caring for that child was MY JOB. I was SELFISH.
Look, y’all, that’s the depression talking. It’s also the false belief that I wasn’t contributing financially to our household. How much does daycare for an infant cost? That’s money that stayed in our bank account due to my actions. How much does it cost to hire a cleaning service? Money in the bank. How much cost it cost in gasoline and oil changes to commute to work v. staying at home? Money in the bank.
Or think of it this way: how much money would your spouse spend on child care if you vanished tomorrow? Would he/she even be able to keep his/her job?
One final note. My husband openly supported me in getting a babysitter. He never once believed I wasn’t financially contributing to our household. I bet your spouse feels the same way. So do something nice for yourself today! If you can’t think of anything, schedule a Breath of Fresh Air with me!